Children are often born to be love and care. Mother is the one who always wants to have the best for their children. Hurting the child will be the last thing that any mother would do. And that was happened unexpectedly in the poem “The Child Beater” by Ai.
Outside, the rain, pinafore of gray water, dresses the town
and I stroke the leather belt,
as she sits in the rocking chair,
holding a crushed paper cup to her lips.
I yell at her, but she keeps rocking;
back, her eyes open, forward, they close.
Her body, somehow fat, though I feed her only once a day,
reminds me of my own just after she was born.
It’s been seven years, but I still can’t forget how I felt.
How heavy it feels to look at her.
I lay the belt on a chair
and get her dinner bowl.
I hit the spoon against it, set it down
and watch her crawl to it,
pausing after each forward thrust of her legs
and when she takes her first bite,
I grab the belt and beat her across the back
until her tears, beads of salt-filled glass, falling,
shatter on the floor.
I move off. I let her eat,
while I get my dog’s chain leash from the closet.
I whirl it around my head.
O daughter, so far you’ve only had a taste of icing,
are you ready now for some cake?
This is the most difficult and challenging poem that I had ever read. When saying this, I do not mean about it context but the language and the voice that the speaker had used in this poem. In term of the discourse analysis, the poet is introducing the unhealthy relationship between the mother and her child. But it feels so weird and can be troublesome by calling this a relationship. In this poem, I can’t barely find any love that the mother has for her daughter but instead the odd attitudes that she has toward her little girl. Unlike any other women, the narrator in the poem has treated the little girl very badly. This is very sad to think of, but the mother is treated her daughter in an inhumane way, the daughter is treated as if a very troublesome, burdening pet. She doesn’t care for her; she beats her and only gives her one meal a day. She doesn’t give her a nice meal but treated her like a dog: “…get her dinner bowl. I hit the spoon against it, set it down and watch her crawl to it …” and even more, she beats her while a girl is having her meal “I grab the belt and beat her across the back”. This is very horrible. I don’t know whether something had happened to her while she has her baby, but she hates a child very much. In her voice, I can feel the hatred that she has and it still exists as she claimed that she could not forget it even though it has past seven years already: “It’s been seven years, but I still can’t forget how I felt. How heavy it feels to look at her.”
The extent of abuse, anger and resentment that she has toward her daughter could be from the experience she has from giving birth. As she described about the physical appearance the mother experience after she had her child, “Her body, somehow fat, though I feed her only once a day, reminds me of my own just after she was born.” She may have refers to the heavy burden feeling from encountering the mother responsibility, such as taking care of the child.
Ai’s poem gives audiences the most awful and frightening feeling.
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